“When a jealous person sees signs of other people’s success and good fortune, his heart is pierced with envy. But someone who has learned to rejoice in the good fortune of others experiences only happiness.”. Geshe Kelsang Gyatso
Most times, this is fairly easy. We see others in our inner circle and are happy when good fortune comes their way. Other times, it’s not so simple. That doesn’t make us bad people. We’re human after all and sometimes prone to jealousy and envy. Being envious of others, however, is an inner delusion that often leads us down the wrong path.
While it’s natural to sometimes compare another person’s good fortune to our (sometimes perceived) lack of one it’s what we do from there that really counts. We may see the successes of others and wonder, ‘Jeez, they are so lucky, I work so hard and don’t seem to be getting anywhere…when’s my time coming?”. Anyone who denies they have ever felt this way even a little is not being honest. Humans have flaws, it’s how we reflect on those flaws that help us work toward having a more positive mindset. Feelings of jealousy or envy can be sneaky though and can creep up on us if we let them.
For example, when I first started selling digital products online I would see some really talented creators and think “I’ll never be as good as them.” or “I’ll never sell my designs online, I should just give up.” It was less me feeling envious and more me feeling discouraged. Feeling discouraged isn’t the same as feeling envious, but it can lead to that. Why? Because when we start feeling discouraged, we put ourselves in the mindset that we’re not good enough. We then keep comparing ourselves to others more and more, each time resenting them and killing our own joy in the process. Envy and jealousy are negative feelings and can only bring on more negativity. For some people it gets so bad, it eats away at them.
Envy and jealousy are negative feelings and can only bring on more negativity. For some people it gets so bad, it eats away at them.
The thing is, we don’t know what struggles others have had to overcome; success may not have always come so easy for them. Second, we may be fortunate in other areas in our life that they are not. Being envious of others is an empty thought because it’s only based on our own deluded perception and it’s one that brings us no happiness. If we’re going to be thinking any thoughts, they may as well be ones that help us…not hurt us.
Keeping a positive attitude instead will keep us on the path of gratitude, happiness and confidence. Take a moment and try this yourself.
Tell yourself two stories:
- “_______” is so talented and success seems to come so easily for them. How lucky they are! I work so hard but I never seem to get any recognition like they do. I should just give up and do something else.”
- “_______” is so talented and success seems to come so easily for them. However, realistically I know they probably worked very hard for it. With a little hard work of my own and some strategizing, it will happen for me too. I’m going to keep at it because I know it will pay off.”
How did you feel when you read the first example as opposed to the second? The first one leaves a bad taste in your mouth, while the second one lifts you up, right? Sure, your attitude may not do a complete 180° the first time around but the more you think positive thoughts, the more familiar they will become for you. And the more familiar they become for you, the more natural a positive mindset becomes.
TL:DR? Be happy for other’s good fortune and make yourself familiar with positive thoughts.
